The B-Side Tracks
by Eilonwycousland
Summary: The B-Side Tracks is part of The I-Pod shuffle challenge (From Dragon Age Fanfiction Writers group) brought to you with the help of Pandora. Behold. Or something like that. Features a different cast in each fic. Rated M for certain chapters. First Chapter contains intro and the original order the songs came to me on Pandora. Had a lot of fun writing these and some challenges, too!
1. Exploration B

Technically not a full song, this is the opening 1:12 long opener on an album by Poe.

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In an awesome Facebook group I'm in, someone posed the challenge of an Ipod shuffle. This is my series of resulting one-shots as given by Pandora. Each one is set in its own unique universe.

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My list of ten:

1. Shine by Vienna Teng Fergus and Dairren (An Alternate take on a small part of the Elyverse as inspired by a reviewer.) (Sweet, cute romance)

2. Memento Mori by Flyleaf: Isabela and Lydia Hawke (hurt/grief, love)

3. Almost Lover by Fiona Apple: Fenris and Caryn Hawke (loss/sadness regret/pain/anger)

4. Fallen by Sarah McLachlan: Merrill and Neilan Hawke

5. Control by Poe- Anders and Krysia Hawke (angst/romance/anger/desire)

6. Arms by Christina Perri- Bann Teagan and Lilith Amell

7. I Know by Fiona Apple: A What If Scenerio in the Elyverse as inspired by a conversation (The Way Of Thedas) (grief/acceptance/implied future character death)

8. Fidelity by Regina Spektor: Aveline and Tobias Hawke (Loyalty, friendship/romance)

9. Fists Fall by Otep: Bethany and Nathaniel Hawke (A possible addition to another alternate universe series I have outlined for the Dragon Age setting.) (anger, romance, healing)

10. Change The Numbers by Sophie Madeline: Gorim and Alia Aeducan (bittersweet)

11. Bonus Track: Bleed Slow by Atmosphere (This is an Alt Universe with a F!Cousland/Alistair romance that I wrote sometime ago and was inspired by one line in this song. It is one of my favorite songs.)

12. Demo Track: Learn To Be Lonely by Minnie Driver (song that is in the ending credits for The Phantom Of The Opera movie soundtrack. Anders/Justice merger idea.)

Enjoy! XD Read in whatever order you please!


	2. Control

This one-shot title is Control by the amazing sing/songwriter Poe. It was also the first one I wrote for this challenge. It was initially inspired by the song title it was named for but gained further inspiration from the songs Big Girl Little Girl, Lullaby, and Kill and Run all by Sia. Which is also part of the inspiration for her name. This is set in its own (AU) universe that runs pretty close to in-game material. Both siblings survived. Bethany is not a mage and Carver becomes a Templar while their elder sister is a thief for the Carta. Anders and Krysia are in a love/hate relationship. Enjoy! (I thought I'd show my love for Anders, since he got bumped for third to last place in my list of favorite LIs)

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**Control**

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Anders watched as Krysia melted into the darkness. It was rare someone got to watch the infamous Shadow Dancer at work. Uncontrollable and wild, Anders felt surprised she let even him around in these moments. He knew she didn't trust him and she hated Justice. The only mage she had ever known was her father and he was placed so high on a pedestal that an 'abomination' like Anders could never reach his level, not in her eyes anyhow. Still, she never turned him in to Carver or the other Templars.

"Hey, tall-blonde-and-broody. You're watching from the wrong direction," a deep voice whispered from the behind him.

Anders startled for a moment before he realized it was her. "I'm not moody. I'm a rebel," he retorted.

Krysia chuckled, one arm wrapping around him. Seductively, she ran her hand down the hard plains of this stomach, her perky breasts pressed against his back. He shivered in response to her closeness, unable to control his desire. "Mmm," she mumbled. "Anders is moody, Justice is the rebellious one."

Anders coldly stepped away from her half embrace, desire turning to anger. "If what I am bothers you so much, why do you even..." he stopped, unable to say it out loud. He was never sure what to call it anyway. It was all under her control.

Hesitantly, Krysia leaned her forehead against his back. "I don't know. However I try, I can't help but to want you."

He whipped around and roughly grabbed her by the chin. "You want me yet you can't stand to even let me meet your innocent sister and mother? Do I mean that little to you that you can help that bitch Meredith in the light but come to my clinic at night?"

She closed her eyes. She couldn't let a demon-possessed mage around Bethany and her mother, no matter how much she loved him. It was too dangerous. What if he lost control of Justice? It could happen at any moment. Yet, every time Anders looked at her with his eyes like liquid gold... those eyes made her never want to let him go. Instead, she looked at his lips, praying he would kiss her so she could forget he was a mage and her brother a Templar. Forget about magic and responsibilities. She didn't even care if it was Justice in control, for a moment she wanted to forget.

He scowled down at her, pieces of his dark blonde hair falling into his eyes, but he dipped his head in low and kissed her. Hungry and desperate, Krysia crushed herself against her lover. She hated that she needed him so badly, but it was out of her hands. All she could think of was his scent, his taste, the rough texture of his stubble beneath her fingers. She was utterly consumed by him and utterly terrified of it.

"Sia!" a voice called out. The sound of running footsteps jolted Krysia back into reality. Hastily, she shoved Anders away. She knew he hated it when she did that, shoving him away in front of people made him feel used. Like she felt ashamed of being with a man like him. But how could she trust him completely when he had promised her over and over he was going to break her heart someday?

She sighed and looked towards Isabela, whose high heels were making a sharp rat-a-tat sound as she ran towards them. Her face was pinched with worry and her thick, dark hair was a mess.

"Bethany is missing. Sebastian, Aveline, and Fenris are waiting for us in a lowtown foundry." The color drained from Sia's face as she took in the meaning. _Bethany could be hurt. Dead. Anything._

They all took off, Isabela taking the lead. She knew Isabela would be just as worried. She and Isabela may have been rivals in the shifty world of thieves and pirates but 'Bela' was her sister's best friend.

Isabela filled them in on the details as they ran. That evening, Bethany had received lilies with a note attached. "According to reports from that manservant of yours, Bodhan, she thought they were from Fenris. We all know they're sweet on each other, poor dolts," Isabela explained.

Krysia cast a quick look at Anders as they reached the foundry. He took one look at her face and kissed her on the cheek. "It'll be alright, love. We'll get there in time," he whispered.

They weren't in time. Later, when Sia was alone in her room, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Magic, blasted magic, had killed her sister. Both her mother and Carver refused to talk to her but she knew they blamed her, it was hidden in the anger in their eyes. He was dead, that bastard who murdered her sister. But it was Krysia who should have died. So many people loved Bethany. Krysia had been the troublesome child who had gotten her father caught by the Templars. It was her fault they died.

Magic. Everything linked back to magic. Control it. Destroy it. What was she supposed to do? It ruined everything it touched. Hot tears fell down her cheeks, coating the pillow that lay beneath her face. _Why did it have to take Bethany? _She hated magic.

A tentative knock sounded against the door. She sighed and buried herself deeper beneath her covers. She heard the door creak open and slowly someone made their way to her bed. She silently hoped it was Anders. She squeezed her eyes shut against the tears. She needed to be held but was afraid of reaching out, especially to her mage lover.

She felt the bed shift as someone crawled into it with her, softly pressing their body to hers. Melding from behind, an arm wrapped around her waist. She breathed in the smell of him, spices and rain. His scent was toxic in a deceptively sweet way that was completely Anders. "I'm sorry love, so sorry," he whispered, lips pressed gently against the back of her neck. The words were meant as a reassurance but the vibrations his lips made sent shivers down her spine, instead.

"A-are all mages so desperate, Anders?" she asked, afraid of the answer but unable to stop the words from tumbling out.

She heard a sigh and his arms wrapped tighter around her waist. "No. Yes. They- we're not all evil. You can trust me," he murmured.

Krysia felt torn. She wanted to believe him but Justice terrified her. He felt _wrong_. What if he made Anders kill someone? If all mages were in a circle where they belonged, her sister would still be alive. It would be her fault if Anders did anything. But she couldn't let him go. She hated herself for being so weak but she craved him. She needed to fill herself up with him, meld with him completely. She missed him even when he was around. She feared him but she needed him. Uncontrollable desire.

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Three years. Three long years since she had killed the Arishok. Three years since Isabela had left Kirkwall. In the end, the pirate wench had won the race to find that stupid book. That betrayal was still sharp in her mind but Sia blamed herself for the death of the Viscount, his son, and the other people there that day. _Bloody barbarians, _she thought with disgust towards the Qunari.

She had no friends left now, not that she ever had that many. Carver was rude but he made a good Templar. He never had much time for his older, impulsive thief of a sister. Aveline was determined to bring her to her cells one day. All she had was Varric and Anders, now. She inwardly scoffed at the thought. She barely even had Anders. He had become more and more erratic as time wove on. She feared he would lose control at any moment. They fought almost non-stop about everything. Magic, her brother, Merrill and that blasted mirror, and about Justice. Mostly about Justice. She prayed Anders wasn't past the breaking point with the spirit.

She barely listened, now, as Knight-Commander Meredith and that magey fellow, Orsino, were arguing on. They hadn't found Anders yet, and thats the only reason she was even there.

"There can be no compromise," a voice bellowed from the crowd. Krysia turned and saw Anders, his whole body a glow from Justice's power. He stomped his staff on the ground and pointed it at the sky. Her eyes followed the direction it was pointing as a sound erupted inside the Chantry.

Her eyes widened with shock and horror as a beam of light shot up from the ground, piercing down the center of the Chantry. Bits of cement and ash whizzed by her face. The Chantry was no more. Hundreds of innocents were blindly killed.

She couldn't breath. Her hands shook. She heard a strangled cry and turned around to see Carver standing over her lover's corpse. She collapsed to her knees, tears falling against his chest and blending with his blood. _Take me. If he has to die, take me and I can keep a part of him. _She had lost everything so there was nothing left to lose now. It had never been under her control, after all. This was the way it had been fated to be at the start. And now, she would gladly be the next victim if meant keeping a piece of Anders with her. In the end, she had only ever known them as one.

A final tear fell as she felt a strange whisper in the back of her brain.

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And so there it is. My very tragic Anders Rivalmance fic. I'm sorry. I really am.


	3. Demo Track: Learn To Be Lonely

I've always loved the song Learn To Be Lonely and, after playing DA2 with a few Anders romances, started thinking of him when I listened to the song. To me its sad, but happy at the same time?

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_'If you can do something about it, you should." _

Anders could still hear the Commander saying those words, her husky voice hard and fierce. But what good did those words do him now? He still couldn't believe she was dead. The only thing protecting him from the unrelenting pursuit of the templars and she was dead. Anders felt a chill run down his spine in fear. Why of all the Wardens in Thedas did they send an ex-templar to watch over him?

Now he had no one left who could stop them. She had died before she could name her replacement. Now the only ones who knew him either did not have the voice that the Commander had, or the authority for that matter, or they were too grief-stricken to care. No one left to protect him.

That templar was always there, though. Taunting him. Calling him blood mage. Anders had never even thought of being a blood mage. He was a healer. He helped people. That's all he wanted. To help people and live in peace. Why couldn't they just leave him be? A few tears trickled down his face and he buried his face in his hands. His strawberry blonde hair was loose from its usual ponytail and helped to further hide his tears.

Sigrun had tried to speak on his behalf but they didn't listen to her like they did the Commander Something about when the Commander glared at someone with those ice cold eyes, people listened. Or wound up dead. Anders had been so impressed by her both times she had stood up to Rylock for him. The bitch templar had called him all sorts of filthy names and had warned Commander Cousland that he would betray her. But the Commander had stood firm; she had even called Anders a friend. That would make her his first real friend, ever.

Sure, he had been close with a few people before. Karl and him had stolen more than a few private nights together before Gregoire found out and shipped Karl to Kirkwall. But that was so long ago, before his long year of solitude, he barely remembered it.

But the Commander was different than all of them. She didn't fear him or hate him, like the templars. She didn't seek his company because there was no other options, like his fellow mages. She didn't care that he was a mage and she had called him friend. Those words had meant so much to Anders that he had nearly wept for joy right then and there. But a lifetime in the Tower had taught him to keep his emotions contained.

And then there was Justice. Anders had questioned the Commander's judgment when she had let him stay at the Keep. Even though Spirits were suppose to be different than demons, the creature made him nervous. The smell of the decomposing body was enough to churn his stomach and Justice often twitched involuntarily. It was... unsettling. But they had talked often and the creature seemed to have his heart, metaphorically speaking, in the right place.

Thinking about Justice seemed to call to him because when Anders looked up Justice was standing there, watching him with his strange eyes.

"If you can do something you should. That woman was always saying that," Justice said, causing Anders to shiver.

Anders, being a mage, could hear the spirit's voice in his head and with his ears; which gave off the feeling he was constantly hearing an echo when the creature spoke. The auditory sensation unnerved Anders every time.

Anders shrugged his shoulders. "Yea, well she's dead now so I see those words did her a lot of good," he replied sarcastically.

Justice furrowed his brow at the mage's harsh words. "You are angry," he said but it sounded like a question.

Anders sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Angry? Who, little old me? Why would I be angry? I thought everyone lived to be harassed by templars."

Justice frowned, or tried to. Mostly the rotting pieces of skin just dripped further down, revealing part of the teeth and gums underneath. Anders closed his eyes and struggled not to throw up. "Why is this one angry?" Justice asked.

Anders shook his head and changed the subject. "Better question: Do you think Andraste was really as hot as the statues make her out to be? I mean, wouldn't she have looked more barbarian?"

A piece of Justice's cheek fell off and landed on the ground with a very wet plop. Anders held back from gagging, not wanting to offend the spirit. Justice looked down at the decayed piece of flesh. "I am falling apart," he stated simply.

Anders attempted a grin that looked more like a grimace, but Justice didn't notice. "I can see that."

Justice looked back at Anders again. He thought about trying to frown again but thought better of it. He didn't want to lose anymore pieces of Kristoff's flesh. "I need a new host."

Anders eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "So, what? You're going to search Ferelden for corpses to haunt? Why not go back to the Fade?"

"I do not think I can return to the Fade," he replied.

Anders furrowed his brow, not failing to notice how Justice had failed to answer part of his question. "So, what do you plan on doing?" he asked, cautiously.

The muscles near Justice's eye started convulsing, causing his eye to twitch madly. His lower lip sagged a bit more, like it was about to fall off as well. "I thought that a living host might be more habitable than a corpse," he replied.

Anders paled at those words, suddenly very nervous. "A living host? So you intend to force some living creature into housing you in their body?"

Justice shook his head and bits of flesh flew everywhere. "No, I seek a willing host."

Anders wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or vomit. "Yes, I'm sure that'll work out great for you! 'Hi, random stranger, I am a spirit of Justice,. No, no! Don't be alarmed! I'm not a demon I just want posses your body until you die of perfectly natural causes! It'll be fun!'"

"I was hoping you would consider the idea. I think if it is a willing host, a friend..." Justice let his words trail off, uncertain.

Anders heart jumped a little. The spirit considered him a friend? Maybe, just maybe, if he had a spirit working with him... maybe then he could do something about his life. Maybe he wouldn't have to rely on anyone else for his freedom. He wouldn't sit here, night after night, wishing the Commander wasn't dead. Wishing he was dead instead of her. Maybe Justice was the key to his freedom. Maybe Justice could help him. Slowly Anders felt a small smile spreading across his lips.

"You know what, friend, that doesn't sound like a half bad idea..."


	4. Memento Mori

In this world we have Lydia Hawke who came to Kirkwall with both of her siblings. In Control Bethany was not a mage, here she is again as a mage. Being tired of always being on the run, Bethany turned herself in to the Circle. She couldn't bare to keep holding her siblings back. Lydia is a warrior and joined the guard with Aveline. Carver joined the Templar order so he could make sure Bethany was not mistreated. The song is by the band Flyleaf. Isabela refers to Bethany as the sister because she had never met her. Leandra doesn't die because Lydia is a guardsmen and thoroughly inspects the previous crimes and warns her mother about the lilies.

an object serving as a warning or reminder of death, such as a skull- Memento Mori.

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Memento Mori

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The silver chain felt cold in Isabela's hand. The air was hot and muggy and the sun burnt the back of her neck, but somehow the chain was ice cold against her bare skin. How many times had Lydia told her that the necklace had been enchanted by her father? It had been the girl's good luck charm. The thing she held to when she was about to take on an opponent that was stronger than her. Even in her last moments, it was the thing she held in her hand as she gave her life willingly. Tears fell from Isabela's eyes and they were cold, too.

When 'Bela had first met the Hawke family, Lydia was the last person she had thought she would fall for. Lydia was tall and stoic, with hair so short 'Bela could just barely run her fingers through it. It was the same dark, chocolate brown as the rest of her family but her eyes were golden with specks of green and brown. Her jaw was firm and broad and she rarely smiled. Her brother was a Templar and her sister, a circle mage. They were all such a dour, serious lot.

Thats how it all started, though. Isabela had been in The Hanged Man to meet with Varric and _she_ was there. A stoic guardsman with her Captain. Playing diamondback of all things. Varric had set Isabela down and told her that 'Hawke' and Aveline had joined him on a business venture not long after the sister joined the Circle. Apparently, the warrior known only as Hawke to most, had wanted to amass a small fortune for her mother before settling down and joining the Guard.

And there, in the dim lights of a seedy bar in Kirkwall, Isabela lost her heart in a game of cards. Varric had said something witty about their adventures in the Deep Roads and a smile had appeared on the lips of Lydia Hawke. It was a dry smile and it tugged on the pirate's heartstrings more than she cared to admit. From that moment on though, Isabela made it her goal to make that grim-faced warrior laugh. All because of one, oh so brief, smile. Thats all it took.

Before 'Bela even knew what was happening she was stuck. She couldn't even leave when the time came for her to make a clean exit. She'd had the book in her hands. That stupid relic. But, for whatever Maker cursed reason, Isabela could not leave Lydia to fight that battle alone. So she returned. She watched as Lydia challenged the Arishok to single combat. She watched as her lover fought a battle with odds stacked against her and won. Then Lydia gathered her up in her arms and kissed her. In front of Meredith and all the stuffy Kirkwall nobility. At the same moment she was being declared a hero, The Champion of Kirkwall, Lydia was kissing Isabela with no shame.

Isabela had a colorful past full of long, hot nights and shady backroom deals. Lydia never cared. Even when Isabela was caught by Guard Captain Aveline, Lydia never swayed. She only swore that Isabela was the best thing to ever happen to her. So, Mrs Man Hands let 'Bela off light for her crimes, the rare few times she was caught.

She had been so strong. Bold, fiercely loyal, and with the driest sense of humor Isabela had ever heard. Nothing could ever touch her. She was too legendary. Too heroic. Too brave and strong to ever die. The world may crumble around her, but Lydia Hawke would still be standing. Or so they all thought. No one could foresee just how far that mage, Anders, had fallen. They never guessed he'd blow up the Chantry. They never thought Meredith would try to annul the Circle.

Of course, they all fought at Lydia's side. Forced their way through numerous Templars with Carver's help. And when they reached Meredith and Bethany... well, that was it. Lydia had taken one look at her frightened sister and hung her head. She whispered something to Carver, but Isabela couldn't hear it. It only took a moment. Lydia charged at Meredith. Moments later she was a corpse. But the girl, her sister, was safe. Everyone had made their escape as Lydia lay dying. Just the way she had planned it. Isabela had gone back, hoping she'd pop up and yell 'surprise'. It had to be a joke, right? She wasn't dead. That the light in her eyes was gone, that couldn't be the truth, right?

Now, the silver chain stayed cold no matter how long Isabela held it under the sun. The only piece of her girl she had left. An enchanted necklace and a bittersweet file of almost and could have beens. Flashes of hazel eyes, sun-kissed skin and hard muscles, a play of shadow and light on her lover's body. Feeling safe but not trapped. The feel of cold metal around her neck. Those were the memories Isabela held closest to her heart.

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Sad story is sad. I'm sorry again. I swear, I'll write something cute and happy eventually in this challenge.


	5. I Know

Song is I Know by Fiona Apple. The idea was inspired by a conversation in either Thedas United or the Fanfic Writers group we had about broodmothers and female Warden. This story *does* feature Eilonwy Cousland but is *not* set in The Way Of Thedas universe. So basically, when reading The Way It Once Was and the sequel pieces, this never happens. The things mentioned in this short never happened. It is an alternate Elyverse and a what if scenario... What if female Grey Wardens were turned to Broodmothers and thats why not many women were recruited? Just a fun little drabble, short.

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I Know

The wind was bitter cold outside the castle, tonight. Everyone was filled with nervous anticipation for the on-coming battle. Except for Eilonwy. She had been waiting for this moment all year as they fought darkspawn, bandits, and different political infractions. So much time had past and so much had happened during this year that she looked forward to the final battle. Live or die, this would be the end. If Riordan ever finished his damned speech about the archdemon.

"Lady Cousland, if I could have a moment privately with you?" Riordan's voice held a hint of nervousness to it and Eilonwy wondered what he could possibly want, now. Was there really more to learn that she didn't already know? She wrapped her black cloak around her shoulders to keep out the cold and waited for Alistair to make his exit. A small nod in her direction and was gone.

Riordan shuffled impatiently as Alistair left. "You know the new Grey Wardens better than I, so this is news that you alone should inform the women of," he said.

_The women? Ah. So its about that, huh? Poor sod probably thinks I don't know. _

"I know Duncan discussed many things with you that he did not often share with recruits, yes? And you know of the Joining, obviously. I've told you of the Archdemon's death, now all that is left..." his voice trailed off.

Eilonwy sighed. It was late and she wanted to get some sleep before the battle tomorrow. If it was a Grey Warden death they needed to defeat the Blight, then she would be the first to volunteer. She couldn't allow anyone else, especially Alistair, to take that sacrifice in her place. Most especially not Alistair. Not after everything they'd been through together. He had been the one good thing to happen to her this year. He had stuck by her side all this time and she loved him for it. He had proved that even a sullen girl like her could fall in love. She couldn't stand it if he were to die now. She couldn't stand the thought of being alone, again.

She cleared her throat and tapped a toe on the ground. "Go on, Riordan. Spit it out already."

"You know we all go to die in Orzammar, right? You know the reason why?"

Eilonwy nodded her head. "I know."

Riordan scratched the back of his neck. "Well, the women... they are even more eager to die down there than most... you see,"

Eilonwy nodded her head again. "I know."

"They turn into these creatures, Broodmothers and..."

"I know, Riordan."

"And they.. wait, what?" he asked, baffled.

Eilonwy pinched the bridge of her nose, annoyed and tired. "I've been to the Deep Roads. I saw a Broodmother, saw how they were made. It was obvious enough the process would be even easier with a Grey Warden female." She held back a shiver at the thought. Dwarf corpses en masse. Hespith, skin blotched and turning grey. Bits of darkspawn vomit ringed around her lips. _First day they come and catch everyone_... How in the Maker's name would she ever forget that?

Riordan stood there, dumbstruck. "So, you know?"

Eilonwy started making her way to the door. "I know," she replied. And she could only pray she never had to experience it first hand. Maker willing, she'd die tomorrow and never have to worry about turning into a Broodmother.

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Short story is short. I know. haha.


	6. Almost Lover

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy. Actually, when I think of Fenris, I think of this band's song Ashes and Wine.

**"Ashes And Wine"**

Don't know what to do anymore  
I've lost the only love worth fighting for  
I'll drown in my tear storming sea,  
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same  
I don't want mudslinging games  
It's such a shame  
To let you walk away

Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed  
This day's spinning circus on a wheel  
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss  
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out  
I've got no claim on you now  
Not allowed to wear your freedom down

Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine?

I'll tear myself away  
That is what you need  
There is nothing left to say  
But

Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine?  
The day's still ashes and wine  
Or are we ashes?

I had to post the lyrics for that because it is so completely that mid-way point in the relationship. And you hold out hope, and you wait for him, because you love him.

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But anyway, it's inspired by a combination of the lyrics for these two songs. Isabela and Carver are in a relationship. Caryn works in Ander's clinic. Sister is dead. Caryn is only a healer, she spent her childhood learning almost only healing spells. Knows but a few barrier spells and some basic defense but never learned anything useful for an offensive battle.

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Almost Lover

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Burning up, skin against skin

Memories forever indented on my mind

Trapped by her side but unable to touch her

Trying so desperately to grasp what I cannot have

I can't let her go but the peace of her arms hurts too much to hold

So instead I'm just trapped here, caught by an almost and maybe

I pray to a silent god that she'll stay waiting for me

Don't leave, Don't leave, and she stays

Why is she always by my side

When she could be free

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A mage. Of all the things in Thedas, why did she have to be a mage? Fenris watched as Caryn healed people in the clinic. He hated that she worked with that abomination, Anders. But Caryn wanted to heal people. She was so kind, so gentle. It was everyone around her causing trouble. Carver and Isabela had nearly gotten her killed in their mess with the Qunari. Caryn only knew how to heal people, she had no combat spells. By a small miracle, and help from Fenris as her second, Caryn had survived the battle with the Arishok. As if it wasn't bad enough she had that foolish blood mage and abomination hovering about her. _Venhedis. _

Fenris leaned against the wall, scowling as he watched Caryn smile and laugh at whatever dribble Anders was whispering in her ear. He growled to himself, wanting to strangle them both. _Coward, _he thought with disgust. _You can't even tell her how you feel. Unlike him._

Anders reached over, brushing fingertips across the small of her back. Caryn frowned, a little, and sidestepped away. She looked up, eyes searching until she spotted him. She waved, her smile bright against the darkness of underground. Against his will, his lips curved up into a grin. He nodded in her direction. Her smile brightened and she mumbled something to Anders before walking towards him.

Her eyes were blue, like the color of the sky after a storm. Her hair was brown in the shadows and blood red in the sunlight and fell in thick waves to her waist. Fenris had never seen a woman so beautiful.

He had meant to say hello. A simple greeting. What came out was, "Festis bei umo canavarum."

She cocked her head to the side, confused by the Tevene, but smiled. "Avanna, Fenris.I hope thats a friendly greeting?" Fenris had taught her a few words in Tevene: greetings and a few swear words. Her accent was terrible, but she liked talking to him in the tongue he was most familiar with.

He chuckled despite himself. It meant 'you will be the death of me,' but that was too close to revealing his feelings for her. "Yes," he replied, instead. "Where are we headed today?"

Caryn scuffed her toe in the dirt. "I was asked to inspect the Wounded Coast again. Yo- you will come?" she asked, hopeful.

Fenris scowled. Ever since they decided to name her the Champion in that fool mission against the Arishok Caryn had been forced to do almost Guard-like patrols. Feeling guilty, Carver and Isabela usually went with. When it wasn't them, it was Aveline and Varric. No one ever let her go alone. And every time, Fenris had followed her. Unable to stand too far from her, but also unable to stand too close.

"I will remain at your side, Caryn."

Caryn blushed, hoping his words meant more than they appeared to. She turned and waved goodbye to Anders who was scowling in the back of the clinic. He was always telling her Fenris was dangerous because of his hatred for mages. But Caryn didn't see any danger with Fenris. He was always gentle with her and he trusted her, even after everything he'd been through. Thats why she worked in the clinic with Anders, she wanted to prove to Fenris mages could do good things.

She smiled and looked into his deep green eyes. His white hair framed his face and his lips were quirked up in a rare smile. Whenever she looked at him, she felt breathless and dizzy. She wasn't sure when it happened but suddenly her heart started beating quicker whenever he was near. They had even been intimate, once. It seemed a lifetime ago but Caryn was determined to stick by his side, no matter what. Even if he didn't love her, even if it was only a one-sided love, she didn't care. She'd stay by him, even to the very end.

Quietly they walked along, planning to meet Aveline and Varric at the coastline. Fenris watched as Caryn walked beside him. She had a soft smile on her face and she walked slowly, enjoying the day. Sometimes she sighed and twirled, sometimes she stop and look at something that caught her eye. She walked like she was dancing; a few steps forward, stop, move her toes in an extended point towards the ground, two steps back, forward again. Fenris was completely enraptured by her movements, eyes glued to her as she walked through the square.

"Caryn Hawke?" a voice came from the shadows.

Caryn looked around, trying to pin-point the source. "Y-yes?" she called out.

A man with a hooked nose and long blonde hair stepped forth from the shadows. "I've head much about you, Caryn Hawke. The pretty little thing they call the Champion. A pretty little thing like you shouldn't wander the streets with nothing but your rabid dog at your side," he leered.

Fenris stepped boldly in front of her. "I don't care who you are or what you want with her but if you try to harm her I will kill you."

The man smirked, eyes glinting evilly. "I'm in the slavery business, Elf. Careful, or I'll find you a new master far away from your little girlfriend, here."

Fenris moved so fast Caryn barely saw it, the next thing she knew the man was laying bloody on the ground, his heart glistening in the sunlight. Caryn leaned against Fenris' back, trying to hide her tears of fright.

Fenris gently turned around and cupped her cheek. "You know I'll always protect you, don't you?" His voice was deep and rumbly and it made her heart skip a beat. Staring into his eyes, she nodded. Gently, he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Caryn leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. Even if he pushed her away again, she wanted this moment to be one where he held her. Taken aback by her sudden closeness, Fenris laid a hand awkwardly on her shoulder. Sensing his discomfort, she sghed and moved away. She felt like they were almost there, if she was patient and waited long enough, he'd come back to her. Almost. So close. _I'll even wait forever, if thats what it takes._

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Not exactly a happy ending, yet but I imagine a happy ending for Fenris nearly all the time so I say they eventually got together, after a good long amount of angsty waiting.


	7. Fallen

Neilan Hawke. A short one-shot showing his first meeting with his future lady love, Merrill. Song title Fallen reminds me both of falling in love as well as Merrill having fallen from grace with the whole blood magic thing.

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Fallen

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Another day, another errand. Story of his Maker-cursed life, really. Fetch this, bring me that. Do this, bring this here. Which is of course how he ended up atop Sundermount, surrounded by murderous elves. Or at least he assumed they were murderous. Weren't all elves perpetually angry and broody? Or was that just his limited experience?

Blasted witch. If he wasn't worried she turn back into a dragon and eat him, the amulet would be in a trash heap by now. But he was crunchy and was sure he'd taste fantastic medium, rare, or well-done. So to the Dalish clan he went. The Keeper had told him to... what was it again? Turn left at the crooked bush or was it a right? Neilan Hawke never was any good with directions.

"Ah, there you are. The Keeper told me you'd be coming," a voice said. She had the same lilting accent in her voice as the other Dalish.

Neilan looked over and stopped in his tracks. She had short black hair that dangled down in little braids. Her tattoos were a light shade of gray but striking. Her eyes were the prettiest shade of green he'd ever seen. She was even prettier than the lass back in Lothering, Allison. She was breathtaking.

A low humming sound was coming from her pocket. "Whats that sound?" he asked.

The elven girl shifted nervously. "Nothing. I don't hear anything, do you? Probably just the wind. It sort of sings up here. I'm Merrill, by the way. Do humans greet people that way? With their name? Haven't met many humans." Her words came out quickly, all in a rush. She blushed and her pale cheeks became a pretty pink. She was adorable.

"Neilan. Neilan Hawke," he replied, causing Varric to chuckle.

The dwarf stroked his beardless chin. "Smooth, Hawke. Smooth."

Neilan scowled at the man. Grunting rudely, he made his way past the pretty elven girl and continued up the mountain. It wasn't long before they were attacked and Neilan discovered the elven girl was a mage.

"I'm sorry, the Keeper must not have told you. I'll be careful, I promise. I mean, I'll only hit targets on our side. I mean, their side. Oh, Creators, I'm making a mess of things, aren't I?" Merrill babbled.

She was, but Neilan found her rambling endearing. "Don't worry, Merrill. You can use the dwarf as free target practice!"

"Heeey!" Varric said.

Merrill's eyes widened, making her look a bit like a deer suddenly caught in a hunter's sight. "I would never do that! He seems like such a nice dwarf and..oh, you were joking, weren't you? Right. Sorry."

Neilan chuckled. He had this urge to reach out and ruffle her hair but that was probably a human thing and he didn't want to scare her off just yet, either. So he kept his urges in check and continued on, slowly making his way up the mountain.

Until he found out she wasn't just any mage. She was a blood mage. He knew Bethany wouldn't approve. Judging by their reactions, neither did Varric, Fenris, or Anders. But Neilan was convinced that Merrill wasn't evil just because she was a blood mage. Maybe she just needed someone to guide her to the right path. Someone... someone like him.

He had fallen for her.

* * *

I'm not very good at writing Merrill so I wanted to give this a shot and see if I could capture her well. Here's to less depressing stories, heh? lol


	8. Fidelty

Fidelity by Regina Spektor is actually one of my favorite songs by her. So, I've always wanted to romance Aveline. Even on my first play-through I tried desperately to romance her, to no avail. I was very disappointed when she told me she liked Donnic. But, their courtship was adorable so I let it slide. lol

So here we are. Another alternate universe. Carver and Bethany were both shipped off to the Grey Wardens. Tobias Hawke joins the Templars.

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His body was covered in sweat as he trained with Knight-Captain Cullen in the Gallow's courtyard. Dripping down his face, it stung his eyes and matted his hair. Mother was livid he was joining the Templar order and he was sure his siblings would be too, if they found out. But they were far away from Kirkwall now, off with the mysterious Grey Wardens doing whatever it was that Wardens did. Deep Road things, probably. Things involving Darkspawn. Tobias shivered. Damned things gave him the creeps.

"'scuse me. Is their a Ser Tobias Hawke?" A man in plainclothes stood near the gate. Hawke and Cullen exchanged a glance.

"Yes, I am Hawke. What do you need?" He took off his helm and wiped the sweat from his brow.

The man thrust a small box at him. "Package. Consider it delivered.

Cullen thumped him on the back and laughed. "Someone sweet on you, Hawke?"

Tobias shrugged. Not that he knew of. He opened the package carefully to reveal a - a something. A very lovely something, to someone, he was sure. A simple piece of copper with, was that marigolds? Yes, copper marigolds. Lovely. Just what he always wanted.

Cullen chortled some more. "Is there a note that says who it's from?" he asked, pulling the packaging to the side.

Tobias shook his head. "Come on, lets train. I'll just leave this... over here, for now. I'm sure its meaning will become clear to me, eventually."

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Tobias grinned and set the box of copper whatever it was on his entryway table. "I'm home, Mother dearest. Come kiss your son hello," he called out.

Leandra Hawke leaned in and kissed her son's cheek, an odd expression on her face. "I- received the strangest thing today, Toby."

Tobias laughed and handed Bodhan his cloak. "You, too? It must be Kirkwall's National Day of Strange Gift Giving."

"I received three goats and a sheaf of wheat today, Toby. Three goats! What in the Maker's name am I going to do with three goats in Hightown?" Leandra asked, hands in the air.

Hawke leaned over and kissed his mother's head. "I'm sure my clever mother will think of something," he said with a laugh.

Leandra smiled up at her son. "Oh I have, they're in your room, my son. I'm sure they haven't eaten too many of your fine things," she replied, winking.

"You're no mother, you're a demon in disguise," Tobias joked.

Leandra chuckled and shook her head. "You do know what this means, Toby? You're being courted, though it is a rather old dowry tradition," she said and frowned thoughtfully.

Bodhan entered the room and cleared his throat once. "Guard Captain Aveline Vallen, here to see you," he said.

Tobias nodded. "Send her in then, Bodhan."

Bodhan shook his head. "No Messere, she is here for your mother, I'm afraid."

Leandra sighed and fanned her face. "What trouble did you get into, now?"

Tobias just shrugged. This whole day had confused him, why should this be any different? In a few moments Aveline strolled in, wearing nothing but a simple tunic and leggings. Hawke's jaw dropped. He had never seen her in anything but armor. The leggings wrapped around firm, strong legs. Her breasts pressed gently against the fabric of her tunic and he could see the muscles in her arms and shoulders. She was all firm muscle with no soft curves but Tobias liked it. He had found himself looking at her often when they were all at the Hanged Man together. Her jaw was squared and delicate freckles dotted her nose and cheeks. Her ginger hair shone in the dim candlelight.

Hawke shook himself out his thoughts. No point in thinking about a girl who had no interest in him. "So, what business do you have with my Mother, Guard-Captain? You know, I don't think I've ever seen you out of armor."

Aveline froze, staring at Hawke as if she had never seen him before. She blushed and Tobias felt like this day was just getting stranger by the moment. "Hawke, you're, uh, here. So you are. I didn't think, that is I came here to..."

Suddenly, Leandra burst out laughing. "Was it you, my dear? The three goats?"

Aveline blushed deeper and turned abruptly to leave. _Three goats? What, the courtin- Oh. _

Tobias reached out and grabbed Aveline by the arm. "So, it was you, then? Did you send the Marigolds, too?"

Aveline nodded. "Metal is strong; copper ages well; flowers are soft. I thought it was clear."

Tobias smiled. "Yes, clear as pudding. Might have been clearer had there been a note but I'm not picky about details,"

Aveline blushed again. "Stupid. I've just made a mess of things."

Tobias grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. "I don't think you made a mess of anything. I'm just wondering what took you so long to get here."

* * *

Writing this short almost makes me want to do a full length story for Tobias and Aveline. I adore Aveline. I hope everyone else does, too.


	9. Shine

I saw a review about how it would have been sweet if Fergus had returned Dairren's feelings in my The Way It Once Was story. So, I thought it might be fun to write another alternate universe to my Ely-verse. This, obviously, didn't happen in the story but now it's Dairren turn to shine, so to speak. lol (Also, Vienna Teng is marvelous singer/song writer. I adore her music. Coincidentally, I listened to it a lot while writing The Way It Once Was.) The 'match' Ely refers to is the sparring bout Fergus and her have when Nate and Dairren make a bet.

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* * *

Shine

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Fergus watched as his younger sister studied with Dairren. The two of them were always together, usually laughing about something. And Dairren had kissed her. He had always figured his sister would wind up with Nate. He never thought he'd miss his chance with Dairren because of her. But he loved his little sister so he said nothing.

Dairren sent a covert look towards Fergus. He smiled to himself as he stared. Fergus looked handsome in the early morning sunlight. His chestnut brown hair fell into his eyes and oh, his eyes. His eyes were the color of chocolate and always had a laughing glint in them. Fergus would probably feel offended at the thought but Dairren though he was beautiful.

He ran his fingers through his short, ginger hair and sighed. Ely looked up from her books and then glanced over at her brother. She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "If you like him go tell him. You're not helping your cause kissing me," she said.

Dairren looked at her and gave a lopsided grin. That was Ely, blunt and to the point. "Maybe I liked kissing you so much I changed my mind," he replied.

Ely snorted, a most un-lady-like sound. "Yea, the Maker's dirty socks you changed your mind. You enjoyed kissing me as much as I would enjoy kissing a horse. Don't do it again, it was slobbery."

Dairren frowned. "I was in a rush. I can kiss better than that."

Ely smirked. "Yes, I'm sure you can."

Dairren mocked gasped. "Are you challenging my manliness, Lady Ely?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Dairren heard laughter and glanced up to see Fergus standing nearby. Dairren blushed, his whole face turning bright red. "Err.. how much did you hear, Cousland?"

Fergus grinned. "Just enough to know my sister is challenging your kissing abilities."

Ely smiled but it was a smile full of mischievous delight. "I have an idea. Why don't we find a neutral third person to be the judge?"

Fergus raised a brow at his sister. "So, you want someone else to kiss him?"

Ely nodded and smiled again, still full of mischief. "Brother, since you lost our match last time don't you think you owe me?"

Fergus flushed red. "Y-you want me to kiss him?"

Dairren jumped up, waving his hands around nervously. "Lady Ely, don't be absurd. Your brother doesn't want to..."

Fergus raised a brow at the man. _Well, well. This might be my one chance. I mean, my own sister came up with the idea. What could be the harm? _"I never said I didn't want to," Fergus replied.

This time, Dairren flushed red and licked his lips. Seeing that Dairren was too nervous, Fergus leaned forward and grabbed him by the shoulders. Staring into his eyes Fergus leaned his lips in towards the other man. Dairren squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. Once, twice, Fergus's lips brushed against Dairren's, gentle and soft. Feeling bold, Dairren leaned in deeper, pressing his lips harder against the other mans.

Hesitantly, Fergus kissed him back, their lips melding together. He felt a stirring in his heart as he held onto Dairren, their lips pressed tightly together. He heard a disgusted snort from his sister and broke apart.

Ely snorted again and stood up. "Well, that settles that. You two have fun. I'm going to go study where theres less kissing going on," she replied with a small hint of satisfaction in her voice.

* * *

Well, it may be short but I did promise cuteness, eventually! haha I hope this fits the bill as cute and a little funny.


	10. Fists Fall

This one was probably the biggest challenge for me. I've written Nathaniel plenty of times before but I have never (seriously) paired him with anyone but Ely in my stories. I almost felt like Nate was cheating on her, except she isn't in this story. Its a completely different universe but I can still see Ely glowering at Bethany (and Kassie) in jealousy and stomping her foot. Heres to Headcanons permanently messing with our minds and other headcanons. Bethany's brother is none other than Neilan Hawke of the Hawke and Merrill story. First one of these stories to intermingle, aside from the two Alter-Ely-Verses. Fists Fall is an awesome song by the band Otep.

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Fists Fall

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The taint whirled its way through Bethany's body. She could feel it changing her and even more so now that she was a Grey Warden. Stroud had taken her to Amaranthine. Back to Ferelden. She fled so far only to come back here, in the end, anyway. The commander here was an elven mage, Kassie Surana. Mistress to the King of Ferelden and hero of the Blight, the woman seemed mysterious and strange to Bethany. To think a mage, and an elf at that, had the ear of so many nobles. The woman was a legend and Bethany felt nervous in her presence.

The others here were less legendary but as nerve-wracking. They all knew Anders though none knew where he had disappeared to. Not that it was Bethany's place to tell anyone. Such a strange lot, these Grey Warden fellows. But, they felt like a family. Sigrun, Oghren, Nathaniel, and the Commander. Bethany could tell they all held a strong bond and the Commander was always having such strange guests. An elf from Antiva. A Orlesian Chantry sister. An old mage wearing Circle robes with a Golem in tow. Bethany had never seen such a strange lot of people and the Golem was even more impressive.

But the one who had Bethany's eye the most was Nathaniel Howe. He was dark and mysterious and scowled a lot. But his jaw was strong and sturdy, his eyes a memorizing shade of gray. His hair was long and pulled back in a ponytail, today. He was practicing out on the field with some of the new recruits. No shirt, just a pair of worn breeches. His tanned skin glistened with sweat under the hot sun. Bethany couldn't take her eyes off the man, no matter how hard she tried. If she didn't know better, she'd have figured the man had her under some sort of blood magic.

Thinking of blood magic, Bethany scowled. She worried about her brother, so far away and surrounded by such unsavory people. And everyone could tell he was sweet on that elven girl, Merrill. Merrill with her stupid blood magic. Her brother could be so dumb sometimes, why would he fall for such a girl? How would he go on now, without Bethany to keep him out of any serious trouble?

Bethany sighed, eyes still on Nathaniel. Almost as if he sensed her presence he looked up and over to where she was standing on the balcony. When he saw her he cast a rare smile her way and waved. Tentatively, she waved back, happy to be noticed.

"So, have your eye on our Nate, do you?" a voice came from the shadows.

Bethany gasped and spun around to see Kassie standing behind her, chuckling. Her blonde hair had streaks of silver running throughout and her eyes were a deep purple ringed with gold. She was lovely and it was easy to see why the King was infatuated with her.

Kassie sauntered over to the edge of the balcony, hips swaying with every step. "Nice view. If I wasn't madly in love with Alistair, I might make a try for him myself. Lucky for you, I'm taken," she said with a wink.

Bethany blushed, unsure how to respond. _How does one converse so casually with the Hero of Ferelden? _"I, uh, wasn't staring at anything in particular. I was, uh, just glancing, really." _Smooth, Bethany._

Kassie let out a low, sultry laugh. "Mmm, Maker's left ass cheek you weren't staring," she quipped before shaking her head. "Maker's left... Oghren is finally rubbing off on me. Fantastic," she finished dryly.

Bethany let out a giggle and Kassie smiled encouragingly. "You know, I'm not so scary. I mean sure, I've defeated more than a few Broodmothers, put two Kings on their thrones, cured a centuries old werewolf curse, been to the Fade a few times, and killed five or six dragons but I'm really just your average girl."

Bethany gulped. "Five _or_ six?"

Kassie shrugged. "I lost count. So many dragons, all dead. Whats the use in counting, right?"

Bethany's mouth fell open as she stared at the woman a moment. "You lost count? Of how many _dragons_ you've killed?"

"Eh. You win some, you lose some. Mostly, the dragons lost and I won. But lets not talk of all my glorious victories. Lets talk about you and your crush on the deliciously sexy Nathaniel Howe," Kassie replied and licked her lips.

"Deliciously sexy, am I, Surana?" A voice said from behind them.

The elven woman just laughed and turned around gleefully. "Oh yes, very delicious and well you know it, Nate. Too bad I'm hopelessly loyal to my Alibear," she murmured.

Nathaniel chuckled, his deep voice sending shivers down Bethany's spine. "Keep flirting with me and I might see how far it takes to tempt you away from your Kingly lover," he replied.

Kassie Surana giggled. "Oh, you know theres no other man for me. I'm a one man type of elf, sadly. But if you're really interested in tempting a lass, I'll just leave to two of you alone," she said. She winked at Bethany and sauntered off.

Nathaniel grinned at Bethany and moved towards, wiping the sweat of his brow as he walked. His muscles rippled and Bethany looked away before he could see her blush. She twirled a piece of curly brown hair between her fingers, nervous. She could never flirt so shamelessly with someone the way the Commander did.

Nathaniel leaned against the railing. "Enjoying the view?"

Bethany nodded. "I was," she replied and blushed.

He grinned again and Bethany's heart did a somersault. _By the Maker, that mans smile must have killed more hearts than I could probably count._

"What do you think of us Wardens so far? Not such a bad lot, right?"

Bethany smiled. "Mhm. You mean aside from all the taint and death stuff? Sure, I like it. Its like a party."

Nathaniel let out a short bark of laughter and looked a little closer at the new girl. Bethany Hawke had been close to dying when Stroud brought her. Now, her health had returned and Nathaniel could tell the Joining had been a success. Her skin was the color of honey and her almond-shaped eyes were dark brown. Her brown hair was slightly wavy and long, luxurious waves of it reached her thin waist. Nathaniel found himself wanting to bury his hands in her hair.

He shook his head, amused by his sudden fascination with the girl's hair. "A party? Well, at least there aren't anymore darkspawn around. They make the worst party guests."

Bethany giggles, hiding her mouth behind one hand in a very girly fashion. "Can you imagine, a darkspawn at a real party? 'Would you like some tea with your taint, Messere Darkspawn?'" she said and giggled again.

Nathaniel laughed at her joke and then cleared his throat. "Well, its a good thing you chose to be a Warden then, plenty of darkspawn parties in our future."

Bethany scowled. "It wasn't my choice to be a Warden. Or a mage," she answered, voice heated.

Nate looked at her then, one brow raised. "I saw you when you arrived. If you hadn't undertaken the Joining, you'd be dead. If it wasn't your choice then who chose it?"

Bethany clenched her fists together. "My tit of a brother. Neilan was the one who wanted me to go with Stroud," she replied, tone bitter.

Nathaniel snorted. "Sounds like you don't care for your brother too much."

Bethany hung her head and shifted. "No, I love my brother very much. I- I'm sure he had good intentions."

He nudged her shoulder with his. "Don't be stupid. If you're angry, vent. I won't tell," he replied.

Bethany clenched her fists again, and this time her nails bit into the palm of her hand. "Angry? Why would I be angry? Neilan got to stay in Kirkwall, with Mother, and now he doesn't have to worry about looking after his mage-born sister. I bet he was glad to be rid of me. And where does that leave me? In Ferelden, without any of my family. First I lost my twin brother fleeing this retched place and now I'm stuck here, all over again. I'm not a fighter but I'm a Grey Warden. I don't want to fight darkspawn. I just want to go home and pretend I'm not a mage," she responded.

Nathaniel nodded. "I know what you mean. When I first came here I was intent on killing Surana. Then she forced me to become a Grey Warden," he said with a laugh.

Bethany stared at the rogue, mouth agape. "Y-you tried to kill the Hero of Ferelden? Maker, why?"

He chuckled lightly and rubbed a hand across his stubble. "She killed my father. It was a revenge thing. Unimportant, really." He glanced over at Bethany and laughed again to see her stunned expression. "Well, I have an errand I need to do tomorrow in the Wending Woods. Would you, uh, like to join me?"

Bethany blushed and nodded her head. At least now she had finally vented to someone.

* * *

So thats that. Bethany Hawke and Nathaniel Howe. I hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Arms

I wanted to make a Teagan fic because I love Teagan. At first the strange idea of an Alistair/Teagan pairing came to me buuuuuut finally decided to change it since it was borderline incest and incest is something I don't write about in my fics. So, I considered a Teagan/Fergus pairing (I was having a yaoi moment, sorrynotsorry) and finally decided on pairing him with Lilith Amell. I am now of the opinion, however, that there are not enough available gay men in Ferelden. Not. Enough. haha Oh well. I guess it's a good thing because I kind of like Lilith.

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Arms

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Lithe arms wrapped around Teagan from behind. He sighed and leaned back into the embrace. Her arms felt warm against the cold. Tomorrow was the final battle to save Ferelden. And then it would be over. Teagan had lived a long time alone but now that same loneliness would feel so much more hollow than before.

Teagan turned and cupped the woman's face. It was heart shaped and delicate. Her green-gray eyes were filled with sadness and the corners of her mouth were turned down in a frown. He kissed her, lightly, and his beard tickled her chin. "Is there not another way?" he whispered.

Lilith Amell shook her head. "No, not unless you include the option that involves a demon baby," she replied.

Teagan's eyebrows flew into his hairline. "Demon baby? Not yours, I hope?"

Lilith laughed and leaned her head against Teagan's chest. "No, your nephew's. But I can't ask that of him and now its too late. Morrigan is gone and that horrid ritual with her. I can't let Alistair take the final blow and, sadly, I haven't much faith in Riordan."

Teagan wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. _It isn't fair. After all she's been through, why does she have to die now? When they had so few moments together._

"It's cold, tonight. Will you hold me and keep me warm?" Lilith whispered against his chest. Nervous anticipation ran through her body. She had faced countless enemies. Dragons, Broodmothers, Kings and tyrants, all had fallen before her magic. Now, even her magic couldn't save her. One lousy archdemon was all it took. But still, Teagan's arms were warm and safe and more than she had ever dreamt of. Mages didn't fall in love but she had found Teagan.

Teagan nodded and lifted her into his arms. He carried her gently to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. They had never made love before, there hadn't been time. But they had kissed and held each other close and that was enough for them.

They didn't make love this time, either. Neither of them wanted there first time to be like this. It was too sad, too bittersweet. So Teagan crawled into bed behind Lilith and held her gently in his arms. He breathed in the scent of herbs and sunshine, Lilith's unique scent, and sighed contentedly. Tomorrow, this beautiful girl who had saved Ferelden with her magic would die. Tomorrow, she would fight her last battle and secure Ferelden's independence and safety. But tonight, she was safe in his arms.

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Aaaand we're back to sad stories! It was a bit sadder than I had intended. lol I was going to write a happy Teagan fic but then my fingers hit the keyboard and this came out. lol Oh, well. It was still fun to write. This was also the only fic inspired by a song/artist I am not familiar with.


	12. Change The Numbers

So, I decided on a Dwarven story when I saw this title. Dwarves, according to The World of Thedas, are one of the only societies to have something of a clock. Change the Numbers is about changing back the clock to an earlier time, when things were still easy for the singer and a past lover. So, Gorim and Alia Aeducan, it had to be.

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Change The Numbers

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_"Rewind back to find the first kiss _  
_ watch us in the moonlight _  
_ catch that second of time"_

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The cell was dirty. Her clothes, torn. A rat or something scuttled across the floor. She reached out, her fingers brushing his. Her heart skipped a beat and a tear trailed down her cheek. The lifetime they thought they would have had been reduced to seconds. Any moment now. They'd be apart.

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_Donʼt tick donʼt tock. _  
_Iʼm keeping the clock from turning _  
_Donʼt tick donʼt tock. Oh and maybe if it stops _  
_The fires in your heart will keep on burning _

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She remembered the first time they kissed. Hesitant, unsure. Nervous but full of desire. Hold each other close, always knowing that it couldn't last. She was a noble and he, a warrior. But he had the finest beard in Orzammar.

.

_Call back the love now departed. _  
_Unpack the bags in the hall _  
_End all the fights that we started. _  
_Mend every wound heal them all_

.

She knew she should have been more suspicious of Bhelen. All her thoughts had been focused on Gorim and the shield. Gorim. Her heart. She didn't want to go to the Deep Roads alone. She could only pray the Ancestors still watched over her and maybe they'd meet again, Topside.

.

_ back to when you were mine _  
_ hearts and fingers entwined _

.

Her fingers laced with his he whispered, "I love you, my heart." She tried to grasp him through the bars but her arms couldn't reach. She knew she'd probably never see him again and even if she did... it would be in such a different world. Would things still feel the same there as they did in Orzammar?

* * *

Well, there's that. My ten I-pod shuffle songs. I hope you enjoyed them!


	13. Bonus Track: Bleed Slow

So, there is one line "And when the lips touched, he inhaled, it didn't matter that she hadn't been kissed too much," in the song Bleed Slow by almost the only rap/hip-hop band I like, Atmosphere. It is a great song and a great band. Shawn's lyrics are poetry. Anywho, this is that. What that line inspired. Alistair. Lets pretend for a second you can harden Alistair without saying something super bitchy first. Then, he gets to initiate the kiss and its just a tad sexier than the un-hardened kiss. haha Maybe it isn't exactly like this but its like this enough. lol

* * *

.

.

Trina rubbed the velvety petals of the rose between her fingertips. Alistair stood in front of her, all thumbs and awkward shuffling. His strawberry blonde hair shone softly in the moonlight; his golden eyes gleamed with uncertainty. She brought the rose up to her nose and inhaled its sweet scent. Her cheeks still felt hot in embarrassment. _It reminds me of you, _he had said. A gift. For her, of all people.

She studied his lips: they were full and slightly chapped. She blushed harder when she thought of kissing those very lips... it would be her first kiss. Growing up the way she did hadn't left much room for kissing. She moved up from his lips to his eyes. They were golden brown and beautiful. She felt she could stare into those eyes forever and forget the Blight itself, if she wasn't careful.

"I've never received a gift before. I- thank you," she whispered.

Alistair smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "So you like it? Good. Now if we could, uh, just skip straight to the steamy bits that'd be great," he replied, laughing nervously.

Trina smiled, blushing again. "You read my mind!" _Way to go Trina, that was so smooth. Maybe I should ask Zev about pick-up lines... No, he'd probably say something obscene about elf love, or something._

This time, it was Alistair who blushed. "You know, there's something I've wanted to do for a long time now," he whispered. He cupped her face and leaned in close. His breath smelled like lamb and pea stew and his lips were warm despite the cold air.

Snow fell down heavily on her auburn hair. The ice cold wind bit her skin. But from her toes to the top of her head, Trina felt warm. Alistair's hands were in her hair, his lips pressed against hers, and she hoped it didn't matter that she'd never been kissed before. A rush of joy and desire sped through her whole body.

She felt like she was dreaming. If this was dream it was better than the ones she'd been having of the archdemon. This dream was comforting and she felt herself melting into Alistair's body. It wasn't a dream but it was sweeter. Trina felt suddenly blessed. She had lost her home and she knew she could never go back there, not now that she was a Warden. But this, this made her feel safe for the first time all year. Alistair was her home, now.

* * *

Shortest one but it's a bonus track, anyway. lol


End file.
